Magical Babysitter Lyrical Zafira
by The Shiny Sword
Summary: Zafira was the last person Hayate would have asked to babysit Vivio, but he was also the only person available. Zafira/Long Arch/Wolkenritter/Vivio centric
1. Zafira and Vice have an adventure

Disclaimer: I do not own Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, obviously.

* * *

**Magical Babysitter Lyrical Zafira**

**Chapter 1**

**In which Zafira and Vice have an "adventure" **

Zafira was approximately two-hundred-and-twenty-two-thousand-one-hundred-and-fourteen days old. He was one day older then Shamal (two-hundred-and-twenty-two-thousand-one-hundred-and-thirteen days), a week older then Signum (two-hundred-and-twenty-two-thousand-one-hundred-seven days) and a full month older then Vita (two-hundred-and-twenty-two-thousand-eighty-six days). Zafira knew this because he had spent the last three hours figuring it out. He had had time to do that because he hadn't had anything resembling an assignment in one-hundred-and-fifty-four hours. He'd spent the entire day sitting on the grass and counting time.

Zafira was used to playing play second fiddle to the women in his family. As a guardian beast this was what was expected of him, to protect and serve when needed, and stand back and allow them to grow when not. What he was not used to was being completely useless. At least in every other incarnation he was able to do something to help out, while yes, Signum and Vita had always been far stronger then him, at least then he had always been the only person available as backup, now they had a whole league of mages who outclassed him to fight by their side.

To keep Zafira from feeling too useless when Hayate formed Riot Force Six Zafira had been given an official spot on Long Arch, all papers stated that he was Hayate and Shamal's bodyguard. However, the truth of the matter was he was that in name alone. Hayate was a SSS mage she didn't need an outdated servant to guard her. As for Shamal, she stayed at the base ninety percent of the time, she hardly left enough for Zafira to be occupied.

So Zafira was left to entertain himself. This week he'd tried a variety of ways to keep himself from dying of boredom, none of them worked very well. On Monday he'd gone to the Infinite Library determined to count all the books, he got to Azzarzara's Book of Magical Alliterations before Arf informed him the Infinite Library was in fact infinite (he looked back at the books he had already counted and found that, to his horror, the bookshelves had actually_extended_). That Tuesday he tried to help the cafeteria staff out, only to delay lunch an hour by mistake, he was asked to leave. On Wednesday he tried to help Nanoha train the forwards, but they turned out to be able to take him easily as a team. On Thursday he decided to actually do his job and stay by Shamal's side the entire day. It went pretty well until about noon when Signum paid them a visit and told him she'd take it from there. While he'd done what she said out of respect for his leader he was indignant, what exactly could Signum do for Shamal that he couldn't? He'd spent the rest of the day fuming.

Today he had decided to just sit on the lawn and mope (and count). Occasionally someone would stop by and scratch his ears, or engage in idle chatter for a moment before they went off to do their important meaningful work. Zafira envied every single one of them. Twice Vita had stopped by and complained about paperwork and how lucky Zafira was because he didn't have to do it, but Zafira would have gladly switched places with her any day.

"'Oi Zafira. How you doing old dog?" Zafira looked up from his position on the ground. It was that the brown haired guy, the one who flew the helicopter. What his name again? Mice… Lice… no it was some sort of tool… hammer no saw. Oh wait it was Vice. Why was Vice talking to him? They'd met all of two times and actually talked only one of them. Zafira supposed it was because there weren't that many men around for him to talk to, Zafira rarely noticed the lack of men because he had spent so many years around way more women then men.

"Do you require something Vice-san?" Better find out what he needed immediately.

"Not really, but I was heading off to get a drink, wanna come? It's more fun to drink with a friend then alone," Vice grinned; Zafira didn't know how someone's mouth could be so big.

"You're going to drink in the middle of the day?"

Vice shrugged, as if it was no big deal, "I don't have any transports lined up today so I don't have anything better to do."

So Vice was in the same situation as him today, bored out of his mind, well he was right it was better to be together then alone. The blue wolf stood up, "I might as well."

"Great," though Zafira didn't think it was possible the man's grin grew larger, "Come on," he motioned for Zafira to follow him. They walked all the way to the garage in silence, Zafira wasn't exactly sure what to say to Vice.

"Stay here," Vice opened up the garage door and headed inside, "I'll go get my ride."

"What sort of car do you drive?" Zafira called into garage.

Laughter echoed out, "Not a car," Vice rolled his ride out of the abyss. "A motorcycle."

"M-motorcycle…"

"One of the latest models too," he patted the shiny red side, "this baby is my pride and joy. I nearly had a heart attack when Tia asked to borrow it. But it got back safe and sound."

"We're going to ride… in a motorcycle." Vice seemed to miss the fact Zafira was a wolf.

"Don't worry," Vice headed back into the garage, "I have a side car," he dragged the matching red attachment out and immediately got to work attaching it to his "baby".

"Is this safe?" Zafira eyed the machine wearily, he didn't particularly like machines. "It looks unstable."

"Don't worry!" He roughly patted Zafira's side, "it's perfectly safe and I'm a great driver."

Somehow Zafira doubted his words as he stepped into the rickety side car. "If I die it's your fault."

Vice laughed again as he mounted his bike, "Alright then I'll avoid that. Now hold on tight."

"Wait to wh-ahhh!" Vice shot off. Zafira swore the motorcycle went from 0 to 50 in one second.There was only one conclusion Zafira could come to as they drove through the streets: Vice was a demon, that was the only way he could be _smiling_ as they zoomed dangerously close to walls and cars. The ride was thirty minutes of sheer terror, Vice had single handedly taken a dozen years off of Zafira's life. Vice enjoyed getting as close to the edge of cliffs as possible, he also enjoyed making his bike jump up in the air and popping random wheelies.

When the devil finally stopped Zafira collapsed onto the ground, "You," Zafira glared at Vice, "you are not human."

Vice grinned, "That was a great ride huh? We hit a little rough patch on the highway but we got through it."

"At least I'm alive," he stood up, "Now where is this bar?" Zafira looked around, he had driven them to downtown Cranagan, like the rest of the city, and the planet, it was unbelievably clean and orderly.

"Right over here," Vice motioned for him to follow. Vice took him into a bar called The Sleepy Puppy, not the manliest of names Zafira noted. Even though it was the middle of the day the inside of the bar was dark, the no smoking sign in the window meant the haze in the air wasn't caused by smoke but Zafira couldn't imagine what it could be.

"Yo Vice," the bartender, a large, muscular man with a full beard and mustache, waved. "You want the usual?" Usual? So Vice drank in the middle of the day a lot of the time.

That grin was back, "You know it."

"Hey who's your pal?" The bartender leaned over the bar to get a better look at Zafira, "You want me to pour some booze in the toilet?" He laughed at his own joke. Zafira was not amused, the slightly annoyed canine hopped onto a bar stool. Vice sat down beside him.

"Make what you want but make it hard," Zafira looked the bartender in the eye, "and give me a straw."

Another laugh, "And he talks! Vice, where'd you find this guy?" He turned around and started to fix their drinks.

Vice rubbed the back of his head, "Tim this is Zafira, Zafira this is Tim. Zafira works with me."

"Well not really," Zafira corrected, "we just happen to be in the same unit."

Vice chuckled, "Are you always this literal?"

"Why wouldn't I be? There's no point in not saying exactly what you mean."

"Drinks," Tim plopped both drinks down in front of the two members of Long Arch. "Drink up!"

Zafira poked the tall class of amber colored liquid with his nose. "I asked for a straw."

"Here you go princess," Tim slid a straw into the drink.

Zafira shot a glare at the bartender before taking the straw in his mouth. Within a few minutes he had finished the whole thing.

"Pretty good huh?" Tim smirked.

Zafira shrugged, "Decent enough. I'll have another."

"You sure it's pretty strong."

This time Zafira smirked, "I can handle it." Actually Zafira was the only one of the Wolkenritter (Nanoha and Fate too) who drank on a regular basis; Vita would have but unless she wanted to bother with illusion magic she was hard pressed to find a place that would serve her. As for the others, after Shamal gave them all a lecture, complete with pictures and diagrams, about the dangers of alcohol they avoided the stuff (well it was probably more accurate to say they avoided it because they wanted to avoid Shamal's wrath).

"So Zafira, what exactly is it you do?" Vice put down his drink.

"I protect Hayate and Shamal."

"That's just your job description," He laughed, "But what is it you actually do?"

"I lie around and contemplate things."

"Aww man you are so lucky, you get to relax all the time," He ruffled the wolf's mane much to said wolf's distain.

"What about you Vice-san? Your job's simple enough."

"Hey I fly the helicopter! That's not easy! Once wrong move and I could accidentally send everyone to a fiery death"

"Don't forget spying on teenage girls you do that pretty well," Zafira chuckled.

"I was just looking after her!"

Zafira took another sip of his drink, "you're a pervert."

Vice looked away his cheeks lightly tinted red. "Tia's like a little sister. I just had to look after her okay."

"Little sister sure," he smirked, "little sister you want to date maybe."

"Hey what about you? You lived with a bunch of women for years and you call me a pervert?"

"Another," Zafira nudged his empty glass forward. He turned to Vice again, "I am a guardian beast, I do not have perverted tendencies."

"New one for me too," Vice pushed his empty glass to the side, "That's not what I heard down at the Infinite Library, I hear you're a real ladies familiar."

"Infinite Library?"

"Yeah it's like gossip central for the TSAB," He chugged his drink and placed it with his other empty glasses, motioning for another.

Zafira eyed Vice's glasses and slurped down his own, "So what exactly do they say about me?"

"Only that the ratio of female to male familiars is like 8-1 but you more then compensate." New drinks were placed in front of them.

"Those are just rumors," he shook his head. "By the way who exactly spread those rumors?"

Vice shrugged, "Who knows?" he knocked back another, "my source said some red-haired familiar told her."

That sounded vaguely familiar to Zafira, but his mind was too hazy to remember, "Hmm, that's not as bad as some of the rumors out there," he paused to take a sip, "If all the rumors were true all the women in our unit would be lesbians."

"They're not?" Vice tilted his head to the side, sipping his drink.

"Not what?"

"Lesbians," Vice blinked, "I thought all of them were."

"I don't think so…" Zafira thought about it, "Caro's not."

"She's the exception. Think about it," he tapped the side of his head, "Fate and Nanoha sleep in the same bed."

"Well it's a very big bed," Zafira countered after he finished off his latest drink, "four people could sleep on it and never touch."

"Well then why not just have two beds," Vice glugged down the last of his and a new round greeted the two of them. "I mean it's not like we couldn't afford it."

"You have a point there but two lesbians does not an army make."

"Ah well what about Signum and Shamal?" he smirked over his drink.

"Hmm… Signum does visit Shamal quite often," Zafira was too wasted to be disturbed. "And they always lock the door when they're together…"

"Not to mention Tia and Subaru, I offered Tia the side car but she rejected it. She'd rather have Subaru hold on," he winked. "I'd bet money that Tia really likes all those things Subaru does."

"Sounds logical… but there might have been other reasons why she didn't want the side car," Zafira snickered.

Vice either didn't notice or didn't care, "Oh and what about Vita, is it just me or is she just a little_ too_ dedicated to Hayate. And what about Rein I can totally see a little three way fun how 'bout you." He nudged Zafira. "Huh huh."

Even in his hammered state Zafira could not imagine a situation in which Hayate, Vita and Rein had a threesome, he was very thankful to have a small imagination. "So your options are pretty limited?"

Vice sighed, "Yeah pretty much." His grin instantly bounced back, "But who cares when I get to be around Hayate's lesbian army!"

"Hayate's WHAT ARMY!" Both drunkards froze. They slowly and fearfully turned around.

"Submarine Commander Vita! I mean Sub Commando Vita!" Vice jumped and tried to salute only succeeding in whacking himself in the face with his hand and knocking himself out.

"Vita nice to see you," the alcohol had stopped Zafira from noticing the deadly aura radiating from his fellow Wolkenritter. "Want to have a drink they're very nice."

She eyed the rather large piles of empty glasses by the two, "Za-fi-ra!" Vita grabbed him by his mane, "You are drunk aren't you?"

He waved a paw in the air, "it would appear so."

Slap! Vita slapped the side of his face, "Snap out of it,"—slap slap, slap—"Hayate wants to talk to you."

"Vita?"

"Are you okay now?" Vita looked relieved.

"I think Vice might be right about you."

Vita's eyes narrowed, "'Oi bartender get me a very large, very cold bucket of water."

* * *

One hour and one very painful treatment later (Zafira had decided Graf Eisen was not a weapon it was a torture device) Zafira was outside Hayate's office (they'd left Vice with a note saying someone would come pick him up and he should pay the bill). Zafira's head hurt like hell and he swore never to let Vice take him anywhere again, no matter how bored he got. Zafira lifted a paw and scratched at his master's door, like a common dog wanting to be let it. 

"Come in," Hayate's cheery voice answered him, "the door's open."

Zafira sighed and looked down at his paws then at the door knob, no thumbs, he shuddered and gulped before taking the door knob in his mouth. It was truly disgusting, but turning into a human for only the smallest things was pointless. He felt the need to wash out his mouth. "You wanted to see me?"

"Ah Zafira!" Hayate pushed the papers she had been reading to the side. "I asked Vita to get you over an hour ago. I'm glad she finally found you."

"Heh," he looked down, "yeah I was a little… busy."

"Well I'm glad you found something to do. But I called you here because I have an assignment for you."

"Assignment!" Zafira perked up.

"Yes it's of the utmost importance," She leaned forward looking him in the eyes, sincerity reflecting in her eyes.

"R-really?"

"Yes. You know that the forwards found a little girl when they were on their vacation."

Zafira nodded, he had heard about that.

"Well Nanoha and Fate are going to be taking care of her for a while." Zafira nodded again. "And Erio and Caro were babysitting her but they have to go back to training now."

Zafira nodded but he didn't see where this was going or what it had to do with him. No… no way, there was only one thing Hayate could be about to tell him but it was ridiculous. On a list of all the people in Riot Force Six best suited for what she was about tell him, he was pretty close to the last person, right above Vice. Except… all the people who were suited for it were busy… everyone was busy, everyone but Zafira.

Hayate leaned forward, "Zafira I want you to watch over and protect Vivio until further notice."

With a single sentence Zafira went from being Zafira the bored to Zafira the babysitter.

* * *

A/N: And so starts Zafira's career as a babysitter/plaything. Even though this is a fanfic focusing on Zafira and Vivio, Vivio not actually in this chapter, she will be in the next though. This story will be focusing more on the smaller characters (aka: everyone who's part of Long Arch) in StikerS (though all the Wolkenritter will be featured prominently (primarily Shamal)) such as Vice, who really only served to fly the helicopter, give Tia someone to talk to and get a very abrupt back story, though Zafira is the focus (he deserves some love). Please review if you get a chance and thank you for reading. 


	2. Zafira hides in a closet

Disclaimer: I don't own Nanoha no duh.

**Magical Babysitter Lyrical Zafira **

**Chapter 2**

**In which Zafira hides in a closet**

Zafira was not in hiding. He just happened to be in the broom closet because he liked small dark confined spaces. It definitely wasn't because he didn't want to meet the little girl he was going to be looking after. No not at all… definitely not. Okay maybe a little bit… alright that was the reason but Zafira wasn't about to admit he was terrified of a six year old.

So far he hadn't thought of an excuse for being in the broom closet, 'I went to get a broom' wouldn't work because Zafira couldn't exactly sweep the floor. Something more along the lines of, 'I didn't want to meet my six year old charge because I'm a timid little puppy on the inside,' said with his tail between his legs would be the most honest thing he could say, but it would also be embarrassing and make him the laughing stock of Long Arch.

Zafira shuffled around in the small space, kicking over a bucket in the process, closets were not made for hiding in, especially if you were a not-so-bendy giant blue wolf. When he tried to get more comfortable his tail knocked over a mop with a crash. He winced, if he kept making noise someone would find him, and everyone would know what a coward the supposedly brave Zafira was.

Zafira wasn't afraid of any enemy, the threat of injury or death never even made him flinch. However, small children were his one true weakness. He could crush an enemy, he couldn't crush a child. He could force an enemy to listen but he couldn't force a kid to. He'd had a master who made him look after his kids once. Scariest. Incarnation. Ever. Zafira swore those children were demons. By the time his master was defeated Zafira was half bald and his ears hung way too low.

Was the closet shrinking? The space felt like it was getting smaller and smaller by the second. He'd been in there too long. Zafira thought he'd get used to it after an hour but now two had passed and he was no better off. And yes Zafira had been hiding for two hours. He wasn't actually supposed to meet Vivio for another thirty minutes; he figured it'd be too suspicious if he mysteriously (and conveniently) disappeared right when he was supposed to meet her. Zafira was sure if he wasn't around Hayate would assign someone else to take care of her (what didn't know was that there wasn't anyone else to assign to said task).

He tried to move again, it was impossible to get comfortable in a 4x4 space with a giant shelf taking up half of it. It didn't help he was too short to reach the hanging string that turned on the light bulb. Maybe if he stood on his hind legs he could make it, a little light could make the situation more bearable. Zafira tried to reach up and keep his balance, but he failed and with a loud yelp he fell down, his head landing the bucket he had knocked over early and the rest of his body falling on top of the fallen mop. Urg… great now he was stuck, at least he had an excuse now.

Well at least he hadn't hurt himself, though the mop he was laying on was a pain and he couldn't see because of the bucket on his head. He also couldn't remove the bucket because he had conveniently fallen so he was perfectly wedged between the door and the bottom of the shelf. Yelling for help wouldn't work because the lovely bucket on his head would produce an echo that would quickly render him deaf. All he could do was hope someone either heard the crash or spilled something and needed broom. And wait. He had to wait too, he had nothing to do but wait…

Okay waiting for help was taking too long. Zafira couldn't tell how much time had passed since he fell down. Maybe it had been a minute, maybe an hour, time lose all meaning when you have a bucket on your head. Did he have to worry about oxygen? Did the door have a crack or was he stuck in a death chamber.

Suddenly hope filled his highly sensitive, well trained ears, someone was walking down the hall. Zafira used all three centimeters of free space he had to tap his bucket head on the door, over and over again.

The door swung open and Zafira toppled out. "Zafira-san!"

"Bucket," Zafira wiggled around on his back.

His savior reached around Zafira's head and yanked off the bucket. Zafira had never been so glad to see light. He wiggled around until he could flip back onto his legs. "Thank you Griffith-San."

Hayate's second in command stood up, "How did you get in there?"

Zafira hesitated, what to say what to say, "I was looking for a broom." Way to go genius, Zafira had thought up the one excuse that wouldn't work.

"But you can't-."

"I meant bucket," Zafira stretched his aching limbs. "I was looking for a bucket and I seem to have found one."

Griffith shot him a disbelieving look but the pale blue haired man didn't press him. "I was surprised to find you in the broom closet," he pushed up his glasses and laughed, "For a second I there thought you were hiding."

Zafira chuckled, shaking his head. There was no way he'd admit Griffith was right. He was pretty sure Griffith wasn't the type to go around telling everyone Zafira had been hiding in the closet but he didn't know Admiral Leti's son very well. Zafira knew even less about Griffith then he knew about Vice (though after the previous day's _excursion_ he knew way more then he cared to about the Sergeant). Zafira made it a point to socialize as little as possible. He had no need to talk with anyone outside of the Wolkenritter other then what his job required. Some people (Vita) called him anti-social, while others (Shamal) just said he liked to play the part of a lone wolf, Zafira just thought of himself as a solitary man/wolf/thing.

"You were assigned to taking care of the small child who was rescued correct?" Zafira supposed Hayate had told Griffith, he was her aide after all.

"That's correct. I'm to serve as her guardian."

"Good, I'm glad you have such an important duty." _Such an important duty?_ He was looking after kindergartener! Even if she was attached to a relic when she was found, she was staying in Mobile Section 6! There were half a dozen A and S ranked mages walking through the place daily. Zafira was convinced he'd been given this job because Hayate didn't want him to feel inadequate, not that it was working.

"Well I'll just be going then," Zafira started to walk away.

"Zafira-san, you're going the wrong way," lucky Zafira, apparently Hayate had told Griffith _everything _about his meeting.

Zafira turned around, "Thank you Griffith-san." Well he'd just walk far enough so leave Griffith's field of vision and then Zafira would go hide again.

"Would you mind if I came with you?"

Yes. Yes Zafira would mind if Griffith went with him but he couldn't tell Griffith that because if he did Griffith would want a reason and the only reason Zafira had was that Zafira planning on hiding in next empty room. So instead of saying what Zafira wanted to say he instead answered Griffith with, "Not at all."

Griffith brightened, "Thank you. Truth be told I'm on my break. I don't really have anything to do." Great now Zafira was serving as entertainment for bored commanders in training.

"Ah," Zafira intended that to be the end of their conversation. But Griffith had other ideas.

"So Zafira-san what was it you do again? I mean before today of course."

First Vice asked now Griffith, was everyone on Long Arch this nosy? All the more reason to avoid them then. "I protect Hayate and Shamal," Zafira was going to leave it at that but Griffith seemed to be expecting more, "When they require it."

"I see." Unlike Vice, Griffith didn't inquire anymore.

"So…" Zafira supposed it would be polite to ask back, "what is it you do for Hayate?"

Griffith pushed up his glasses; he seemed to do that a lot, if his glasses were so loose he should go get new ones. "Well I do many things for Commander Yagami."

"What he means is he's her errand boy."

Zafira groaned and Griffith turned an angry red. "I am not an errand boy!"

Vice and his grin laughed, "Yes you are." How lovely Vice was here too now.

"Don't you have something to crash right now Vice-san?" Griffith was trying the tactic of not-so-subtle hinting. Zafira wondered what kind of bad blood existed between the two of them, maybe they knew each other as little kids and Vice stole Griffith's rattle, Griffith looked like kind of guy with a long memory.

"I only crashed into the administrative building once and no one got hurt so it doesn't count." Nice logic there Vice.

"You destroyed a wall."

"But no one got hurt."

"That's not the point!" Zafira looked between the two men, apparently they forgot Zafira was there… wait a minute… if they forgot him then Zafira could slip away unnoticed. Zafira stopped walking, allowing the two arguing men to pass by him. Now all he had to do was find a hiding spot before one of them-

"Got a problem Zafira?" Vice looked over his shoulder. Okay that plan was a failure.

"N-no," Zafira chuckled uncomfortably, damn Vice and his ability to argue and pay attention to his surroundings… no scratch that, that was probably a good quality for a pilot to have. "Just got caught up in my thoughts I guess."

"Ah," Griffith nodded, "I suppose you must be nervous."

Zafira shook his head rapidly, "I am not."

"Really? I'd be pretty worried," Vice mused. "After all you will be with her for at least a few months, maybe more depending on what they decide to do with her. In fact I'd-" But Zafira never found out what Vice would in fact do because Griffith interrupted.

"It's in Captain Fate and Instructor Nanoha's apartment correct?"

"That it is," somehow they had managed to make it all the way across the base in fifteen minutes. The three of them stood in front of the door in silence for at least a good minute or two. "Aren't you going to knock?"

"Of course," Griffith's red cheeks were back. "Yeah… knocking." Vice snickered. Griffith lifted up a hand and knocked on the door.

"It's open" Nanoha's cheery voice answered them.

Again Zafira looked at Griffith who opened the door for him, why did he choose to go around in dog form again? "Now I am going in alone."

"Fine," Vice shrugged, "Come on Griffith let's go drinking."

"It's the middle of the day!"

"That never stopped me."

Zafira shook his head; poor Griffith had no idea what he was getting into. On the other hand Zafira knew exactly what he was getting into, a world of yanked tails and high pitched squeals. He gulped and walked through the door.

Nanoha's apartment was very clean. Zafira knew this was in no part Nanoha's doing and was in fact the doing of Ana the housemother. He remembered very distinctly from their time on Earth Nanoha could not keep anything clean to save her life. Zafira felt a tad guilty about walking around such a clean house, as he himself was not very clean, mostly due to his irrational hatred of baths.

"Nanoha-san?" Zafira looked around, Nanoha and… the child didn't seem to be around.

"Upstairs!" Zafira sighed, he hated staircases almost as much as baths. Up, up, up, stairs were not fun when you had four legs. "Nanoha-sa-," Zafira immediately jerked around, facing the wall with a face that was turning red despite the fact he had fur thus one could not actually see the color.

"What is it?" Oh Nanoha, how could one person be _that _naïve. Zafira felt a deep connection to Yuuno at that moment.

"Nanoha-san could you please not invite me up until you finish putting on your shirt," Zafira looked up at the ceiling.

"Mmm? But you don't care do you?" Zafira most certainly did care, but he couldn't let her know that.

"Of course not but for the sake of your innocence."

"Nya ha ha you're so cute Zafira," The ruffling of her jacket alerted Zafira that it was safe to turn around.

"Well where's the child?" Zafira only saw Nanoha in the room, and unless he was supposed to guard an invisible girl that meant she was missing.

"Oh Ana took Vivio to get breakfast while Fate and I got ready," She stretched, "they should be back any minute now." The front door clicked open.

"How… convenient."

"Vivio don't run," Ana's voice was accompanied by a small girl appearing on the staircase.

Time froze; at least it did for Zafira. All of the sudden he was in one of those stupid romance movies Hayate, Shamal and Rein loved so much, except in this one the hero was a giant azure wolf and the heroine was a six year old girl, and anything resembling romantic attraction would be so illegal all the strings in the world wouldn't be able to pull them out of the mess, so in reality it was absolutely nothing like those romance movies at all. Red eyes met two colored ones; silence resonated throughout the room until-

"MONSTER!" A cry of sheer terror caused Zafira to jump back, startled. How could one child make such a loud noise?

"I-I," Zafira looked to Nanoha for help but she looked just as startled as him. Zafira had gone through a lot in life but no one had ever been afraid of him.

"Vivio. Come over here, don't worry about Zafira he's a good monster." _Good monster_, thanks for that Nanoha, Zafira would have scowled but he was aware that that would make him even more 'scary'.

Vivio eyed him suspiciously, as if he would try to eat her if she turned away for a second. Without ever removing her eyes from Zafira she inched towards Nanoha. As soon as she got close enough to the mage she dashed behind her legs. "Bad monster."

"N-no I'm not…" how exactly was Zafira supposed to explain that he wasn't a 'bad monster'? "You see I'm erm…"

She poked her head around Nanoha's legs before ducking back, "Nu uh. Don't fall for his tricks."

His tricks? Zafira's eye twitched, he in no way resembled a suspicious person. He was a proud guardian beast not a common street mutt.

"Sorry Zafira," Nanoha chuckled nervously.

"No… I'm just," He looked away a look of depression growing on his muzzle, "scary." Wait there was one way he wouldn't have to be scary. If he remembered correctly it wasn't very hard to do. Just think small… and cute… and fluffy. Small, cute, fluffy, small, cute, fluffy he repeated it like a mantra in his head. He felt the familiar aching pain in his limbs as they compressed. In less then a second it was over and Zafira realized he could only see up to just below Nanoha's knee caps. How did Arf manage to stay in this form!

Vivio peeked out, "Puppy? Where's the monster?"

Zafira cleared his throat, "There is no monster," he must have looked ridiculous, a tiny puppy with a deep manly voice. "It's only an…" why was he going to such lengths to make someone who shouldn't even be his responsibility (Just because Arf was good with munchkins didn't mean all familiars were). "Illusion. This is my real form."

She moved a little bit out from behind Nanoha, who was watching both of them with an amused face, "really?"

"Well if I didn't look scary then I couldn't keep away the bad guys," Zafira mentally winced, did he really just say really 'bad guys'?

She scooted out a bit more, still looking as if he was going to jump out and attack, "Really really?"

"Yes," he nodded; his serious expression was very odd on a puppy.

Vivio broke into a smile rivaling Vice's grin, "puppy!" She dashed forward somehow managing to get Zafira in a suffocating hug.

"Nanoha… help."

Nanoha giggled, "Vivio, you have to let go of puppy now or he won't be able to play with you ever."

"Okay" she dropped Zafira on the ground where he lay panting for a few minutes.

Nanoha knelt down, "Now be a good girl for Zafira and Ana Vivio."

Vivio nodded as if Nanoha had just asked her to save the world. "I promise!"

Zafira looked up from the floor he'd be okay as long as she never hugged him again.

* * *

Maybe babysitting wasn't as hard as Zafira thought it was. Sitting there on the couch while Vivio "helped" Ana fold laundry was pretty easy, Ana did all the hard work, he was there in case of emergency. And by emergency he meant an attack, and only an insane man would attack section 6.

"Puppy look!" She held up a crumpled shirt.

"Not puppy Za-fi-ra," Zafira would not be called puppy! He was his mistress's proud knight!

"Zafi… Zafi… Zafilo." She fumbled around unable to say the name.

Ana giggled from behind them, "Zafira you can't expect her to say such a big word."

"Big word!" He huffed indignantly, "She has very advanced vocabulary."

"But she's still just a little girl."

"Zafi…Zafi…Zaffy!" Vivio clapped her hands as she said the last one. She pointed a little finger at Zafira. "Zaffy!"

"No Za-fi-ra."

"Za-ffy."

Zafira grunted and repositioned himself on the couch. If he just refused to answer to Zaffy she'd learn.

"Zaffy."

Zafira looked away; he would not allow himself to be demeaned even if it was by a child.

"Zaffy" She poked his side. He would not give in. "…Zaffy." But she sounded so sad, "Zaffy…"

"Yes Vivio," he mentally sighed, so he was completely giving up as long as no one outside of Nanoha's apartment ever heard her call him Zaffy he'd be alright.

She held up something that he supposed was supposed to be folded laundry but it was nothing like the laundry he'd ever seen. "Did I do it right?"

"Not exactly."

She puffed out her cheeks, "I don't get it."

Zafira sat up, "Then I'll show you." Years of being the only one around when Shamal was doing the laundry had made Zafira quite efficient in the monotonous task. He took a towel in his mouth, probably a health code violation on Earth but on Mid-Childa giant talking wolves doing the laundry was completely normal, and with ease he used a combination of his mouth and his paws to fold the cloth into a neat little rectangle.

Vivio looked from him to the folded towel then to the unfolded ones. She picked an unfolded one up stared at it for a moment then put it in her mouth and started to fold it exactly how Zafira did.

"…Vivio you don't have to use your mouth," Zafira forgot she was a six year old.

Vivio removed the now perfect, although a tad wet, rectangle from her mouth. "But you did?"

"Well I lack thumbs."

Vivio shook her head, "but this works… right?" the girl proceeded to fold another towel in this fashion. Well as long a no one found out there was kiddy drool on the towels… Zafira seemed to be betting a lot on the hope no one would find out anything.

Zafira felt a small smile creep onto his muzzle; something resembling pride bloomed in his chest, Zafira proceeded to suppress the stupid feeling. He stretched out on the couch and nestled into the cushions, keeping one eye on Vivio at all times. He didn't know why he'd been so worried babysitting was easy.

* * *

Next time on Magical Babysitter Lyrical Zafira: Zafira learns babysitting may be easy but nannying is hard. Vice tries to help, Griffith's dragged along and Zafira wishes he had thumbs.

A/N: And now the introduction chapters are done. And I am very very thankful for that. I don't particularly like this chapter --. On the other hand I'm really looking forward to the next one so if you didn't like this chapter please give the next one a try before giving up on me. If you have the time please review and thank you for reading.


	3. Ana catches a cold part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN

A/N: I apologize for the long long delay but here it is in not 1 but 2 parts! Please enjoy and forgive this humble fanfic writer.

**Magical Babysitter Lyrical Zafira **

**Chapter 3 Part 1  
**

**In which Ana catches a cold, everyone tries to help and Zafira goes grocery shopping**

Had anyone who knew him chosen that day to pick up some things at the store they would have found their minds bombarded by questions such as: What exactly was Zafira doing? And: What possible could have happened to make him walk around in a grocery store in human form with Vivio strapped to his back? They would have found no answers because Zafira would have pretended not to know them, just as he was pretending not to know the two people behind him.

"Don't believe everything you read in tabloids Vice," Griffith's annoyed voice followed Zafira down the aisle.

"I don't know, they have pictures of Hayate and Yuuno's secret rendezvous," Vice's voice joined Griffith's.

"Look at the other stories. Second lieutenant Vita is apparently an madly in love with Captain Nanoha of all people and Captain Fate is a vampire, see utterly ridiculous," Grifith shook the magazine with a disgusted look.

"But it also has an—" the sound of Vice stealing said magazine—"article about Fate and Nanoha and," he paused, Zafira took this opportunity to get ahead, "How apparently how Nanoha has adopted Fate and Yuuno's love child. Well that's an unexpected twist."

"Because it's not true!" Zafira yelled back.

"Zaffy" Vivio tugged on Zafira's hair, "indoor voice please."

"Ah he lives," Vice laughed, "I made the last one up buddy."

"Just shut up and shop," Zafira sighed, this day couldn't get worse if it tried.

* * *

**Several hours earlier**

The door was open when Zafira got there. There being the home of Fate and Nanoha. He'd been working as a "guardian" for a little over a week but today was just a tad different, today Zafira wouldn't just be watching Vivio and acting as a furry bus when needed. Today the fighting forces of Riot 6 were heading off to save the world, meaning he'd be working much longer then he did usually. Luckily, Ana would be around to handle all the parental type tasks Zafira just wasn't up to. He poked his head inside, everything seemed peaceful enough… of course looks are deceiving.

"Nanoha do you know where my shoes are?" Fate's voice came from off to the side, somewhere out of Zafira's line of vision.

"They're wherever you left them Fate-chan!" Nanoha's voice came from above, accompanied by the sounds of drawers being rapidly opened and closed.

"Well I don't remember where that is!"

"Then you should have got up earlier!"

"I would have but _someone_ kept me up all night." Surprisingly neither Fate nor Nanoha seemed to be morning people. This was all the more surprising considering they had both spent a good portion of their lives waking up before 6 AM.

"That's not my fault."

"Yes it is!"

Zafira decided to step in before this fight got any further or the… details of what exactly happened the previous night were revealed. "Excuse me Fate-san."

Fate was standing in the kitchen, looking pretty well put together, though she lacked shoes. She looked tired and frustrated though when she noticed the wolf entering the apartment she attempted to hide it. "Oh Zafira! Thanks for taking over today."

"It's nothing," Zafira looked around. A certain housekeeper seemed to be missing. "I don't see Ana-san though. It's not like her to be late."

Fate opened her mouth to answer but she was interrupted by Nanoha. "Who is it Fate-chan?" Nanoha called down followed by her footsteps as she thumped down the stairs. "Ah Zafira." Unlike Fate, who, apart from the bare feet, looked like she normally did, Nanoha looked like she had just staggered out of a tornado. Her hair was out of its ponytail and was frizzing out, her jacket was lopsided, her shoes were untied (at least she had them on), and her skirt was threatening to fall off (What was with the mini-skirts anyway? Apparently the TSAB was run by creepy old men.).

"Nanoha you can't go out like that," Fate grabbed a brush from the kitchen counter (it was easy for Zafira to see how Fate's shoes got lost, nothing seemed to be where it belonged) and pounced on her friend's messy head.

"It's fine, it's fine," Nanoha protested as Fate struggled to comb through it. "Your shoes are in the bathroom by the way."

Fate looked over her handiwork and seemingly deemed it presentable, "Why are they in there?"

"I have no idea," Nanoha shrugged and straightened her outfit. Zafira didn't either and was pretty sure he didn't want to know why.

Fate ran off to get her shoes and Nanoha turned her attention to Zafira, "Nya ha ha sorry you had to see all that."

Zafira shook his head, "That's nothing. You should see our house in the morning." Zafira had seen some pretty frightening things living with five women, most of them involving Shamal and a stove or Shamal and a microwave or Shamal and a toaster or Shamal attempting to boil water. "Now where is Ana-san?"

Nanoha blinked, "Didn't she call you? She's sick."

_She's sick, she's sick, she's sick,_ Nanoha's words echoed through Zafira's head. Zafira's brain stopped working. If she wasn't there then he'd have to take care of Vivio… alone… as in by himself… without help.

"Vivio's asleep upstairs right now," Nanoha seemed not to notice Zafira had zoned out. It did cross through his mind that Vivio really was a special child due to her ability to sleep through _that_. "You know what to do right?" It seemed Nanoha had no idea how to take came of her own child. Poor Vivio she was lucky to have Fate, without Fate she'd still be stuck on the ground.

"I do." Not was the last word on that sentence but Zafira didn't have the heart to tell the truth to Nanoha.

"Good." She looked up the stairs. "Fate-chan did you find them!"

"Yes." Fate came down the stairs, now shoed, "Ready Nanoha?"

"Yeah! We should be back tomorrow-."

"I'll stay here tonight don't worry," Zafira was on auto pilot, saying what needed to be said even if he had no idea how it would work out.

"Thanks." Nanoha headed out the door.

"Thank you Zafira," Fate followed Nanoha out the door.

Zafira was left alone… alone… with Vivio. He looked up the staircase. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Vivio was an impressive sleeper; that meant a lot coming from Zafira as he distinctly remembered Vita had once slept through a full scale invasion. Not only had Vivio slept through her mothers' argument she had also managed to sleep through Zafira fumbling up the stairs, tripping over a stuffed doggy (Vivio had somehow managed to accumulate several dozen of the stuffed things over the past week.) and knocking over a chair. Zafira rested his muzzle on the edge of the giant bed (honestly who needed that big of a bed?). It didn't matter how long she slept but something about her sleeping was making him tense, maybe it was the fact he didn't know when she would wake up and his work would begin.

She stirred; it seemed his work would begin right about now. With a sleepy little noise the girl sat up and rubbed her eyes. She looked around, blinking. A happy little smile reached her face as she noticed Zafira. "Mornin' Zaffy," she yawned.

Zafira didn't bother to argue; he had decided it was futile to fight with a six-year-old. "Good morning Vivio," it was covenant that she was too young to find it odd that the giant wolf was next to her bed. He backed up when Vivio started to scoot out of bed. _Teeth, Vivio should brush her teeth_. "Vivio go brush your teeth."

To Zafira's surprise Vivio not only complied, she _saluted him_ before walking off. Spending a week on a military base was very influential on a young child apparently. As he heard the sink turn on he turned to the bed. If he remembered correctly Ana made the monster everyday. A daunting task indeed, the very idea that Ana had made this bed everyday since the beginning of their unit boasted her indefinitely in his mind.

He examined his situation; true it was a giant bed but it wasn't unconquerable. He took one end of the sheet in his mouth, easily pulling it all the way over; this wasn't so hard, he could do this in his sleep! Then he moved over to the comforter. Why was the comforter so… heavy? Zafira struggled with the stuffed fabric. Fluffy things weren't supposed to be this heavy! He heaved and he hoed but he couldn't move the thing. With a final tug he managed to get half of it up and tucked in. The other half got one look before Zafira decided to tackle it later.

Vivio emerged from the bathroom, "hungry."

Zafira hesitated, he wasn't sure just how to address that problem.

"Yo Zafira!" Oh how… lucky it looked like he had a distraction.

"Upstairs!" Zafira yelled down, his voice was followed by the sound of climbing feet, two pairs if he wasn't mistaken.

Vivio apparently sensed who it was before he even finished climbing the stairs because she ran and tackled the new comer as soon as he reached the top. "Uncle Vice!"

Vice chuckled and caught Vivio with his trademark grin. "Hey kid."

Griffith slid around Vice, holding his large paper bag aloft, "We brought breakfast."

Zafira owed Griffith for that. Though he wasn't sure how the two of them knew he'd need it. He thanked Griffith silently and Griffith smiled back sympathetically.

Vice dumped Vivio on the bed before sitting down right on Zafira's hard work. "Hey guess what we have?" He took the bag from Griffith and rummaged around until he took out a small pastry.

"Muffin!" Vivio pounced on the food with nearly predatory excitement.

"There are donuts too." Vice tossed Zafira a smaller bag. Zafira reached in and took one out, using the magic of his muzzle to hook it.

After devouring the glazed circle Zafira looked to Vice, "Where'd you get these?"

"You should go to the offices more often bud. There's always a bunch there," Vice answered.

"You don't use the cafeteria?" Zafira's question was directed at Griffith.

"They're closed today for maintenance work." Griffith's words caused Zafira to realize something horrible.

"Besides they can't make good donuts to save their lives," Vice happily took another donut, completely oblivious to Zafira's distress. It was a good thing none of the kitchen's notorious cooking mages were around; they were known for being very very scary. He turned to Vivio, "Try the ones with cream," he pushed the bag towards her.

"When did you meet her?" Zafira eyed Vice suspiciously.

"I drove her and Nanoha back from the Saint Church." He turned to Griffith, "She's probably wondering who this strange guy is though."

Griffith made a motion that was half a wave and half a salute, "I'm Griffith."

Vivio screwed up her face in concentration, "Gri-Gri-Griffith." Zafira mentally sighed; she could say Griffith but she couldn't say Zafira.

Griffith looked pleased, "good job."

"So you're all alone today," Vice leaned back, leisurely eating a blueberry muffin as he did.

"What's Vivio then?"

Vice laughed, "Sorry sorry. It's true though right?"

"Yes I suppose but how did you know that?"

Vice shrugged, "News travels fast when there's nothing to do." He rubbed his chin in thought, "Well then I guess you two are free to come with me and Griffith."

Griffith choked on his coffee, "Excuse me! What exactly are we doing?" It looked like this was the first Griffith had heard of this; Vice needed to work on informing people before he made plans for them.

Vice just grinned wider, "We're going into the city." "Didn't you just go twice?" Zafira had no urge to go anywhere with Vice ever again or point out how irresponsible he was being.

"Well yeah but…" he scratched the side of his head, "It's not like I remember it."

You'd remember it if you didn't get drunk every time you went, Zafira wanted to respond with that but it wasn't exactly on the list of etiquette do's. "I don't think that's such a—"

"What do you think Vivio?" Stop interrupting people Vice, Zafira was more then a little annoyed.

Vivio looked up from her muffins; Zafira was amused to see a small pile of berries off on a napkin next to her. "Yes." Zafira would have rubbed his forehead if he could, Vivio don't answer if you don't' know what he's talking about.

"Don't you have work to do Vice?" There had to be something for him to do.

"Without anyone to move I'm free," Vice reached for another donut.

"Wait then who's transporting Nanoha and the others?"

"Alto's on it," Vice said in between bites. "She's in training and it's just ground transfer stuff, so I thought it'd be good practice," Zafira and Griffith both had expressions that clearly said "Go do your job."

Vivio looked from one man to the others, nodding her head at each one as if she had some idea what they were talking about.

"What about you Griffith?" Zafira looked at the glasses wearing man. "Don't you have work today?"

"Well Hayate is off commanding and you know what they say… when the boss is away her underlings will play. Though there is somewhere I need to be—"

Vice cut him off. "Forget your previous engagements buddy! We're making a little girl happy! You gotta come to the city with us."

"I never said we'd go." As far as Zafira was concerned there still was no "us". "Besides if we're going anywhere it's to the grocery store." He sighed, "it's really the only way I'll be able to feed her tonight." Nanoha never kept anything in the refrigerator.

"That's no fun Zaffy," Vice whined. Zafira scowled.

Vivio's eyes lit up, "I wanna go to the grocy store!"

"Do you even know what a grocery store is Vivio?" Vice asked.

"No but I wanna go!"

"You wouldn't want to let her down now would you Vice?" Zafira smirked slightly; his smirk disappeared when he realized he'd just told Vice to spend the day with him and Vivio.

"Of course not! It'll be a guy's plus Vivio's day out!" Vice jumped up pumping his fist in the air.

Griffith tried to reason with Vice, "Look I can't go I have to—" Of course Vice never listed to reason.

"Griffith if you don't come you'll be cursed never to fully enjoy Hayate's lesbian army."

Zafira stood up, "Don't start that up again!"

* * *

"Hey Zafira. How're you gonna keep Vivio from flying out of my motorcycle," their party of four had made it all the way to the garage before Vice brought up this crucial point.

"We're taking the motorcycle?" Oh… lovely.

"What'd you think we were going to take?" Vice grinned and shrugged, "I don't own a car."

"Wait… What do you mean keep Vivio from flying out of your motorcycle?"

"Well if you stay like that you can't hold on to her," Griffith explained, "And you can't expect her to hold on herself."

"Of course," Actually Zafira had thought she'd do just that. He thought for a moment. "I guess that means I have to do _that_." It was unavoidable.

The confusion on Griffith and Vice's faces was erased in a flash of light, along with Zafira's fur.

"Whoo! Zaffy got big!" Vivio pointed up and the now much taller Zafira.

Zafira held down a chuckle, he switches to human form and the only thing Vivio notices is that he got bigger. He straightened the sleeve of his uniform.

"Man you're tall," Vice looked up, "I mean I always figured you were but…"

Zafira shrugged. "Am I?" Zafira never really noticed how tall he was in human form. He used it so little that it never really mattered.

Vice happily slapped Zafira's shoulder, "And you're ripped, I bet we could get into a couple of brawls and be fine."

"Let's avoid those," Griffith sighed; Zafira agreed the last thing he needed was property damage on his head.

Vice disappeared into the dark abyss that was his garage; one day Zafira would have to see exactly what was in there. He returned a few minutes later, rolling out his motorcycle and the rickety sidecar.

"What's that?" On the deathtrap's seat was what appeared to be a backpack; Zafira was wary.

Vice picked it up, "Oh this," he unfolded it. It was a backpack, a very weird backpack, with holes on the bottom. It was also Vivio sized, but not for her to wear rather…

"I am not putting Vivio in that," Zafira crossed his arms with a scowl.

"Come on it works perfectly and this way you won't lose her."

Zafira looked to Griffith for help but Griffith shook his head, "I think it's a good idea too."

Zafira shook his head, "We'll talk about it when we get there."

"Awesome! Now you and Vivio get into the sidecar and put on these," He leaned into the sidecar and tossed Zafira two helmets, even Vice could be thoughtful.

Griffith suddenly realized something, "Then where am I sitting?" His voice was slightly panicked.

"With me of course," Vice grinned and sat on the seat. "Come on."

"You have to be kidding."

"Vivio still isn't getting on the—" as Zafira spoke Vivio grabbed a helmet from his hand and dove into the sidecar—"Vivio!"

"Zaffy" She whined. "Let's go!" Zafira sighed.

* * *

Two hours of deadly motorcycles, arguing, and child backpacks later Zafira found himself where we found him in the beginning of this chapter.

It was supposed to be simple, go in, get the groceries, get out but no. Nothing was ever that simple for our poor wolf/man/thing. With the two numbnuts behind him and Vivio squirming around on his back it was next to impossible to both shop and figure out what he was supposed to feed her.

"I'm telling you there's no way the commander would go out with Yuuno-san,"Griffith Zafira tried to will Griffith into just dropping the topic.

"Ouch," someone chuckled. "I'd like to think she would if I asked."

Zafira turned around quickly.

"Ugu… dizzy."

"Yuuno!" Zafira could have kissed him. Finally someone who could help him control Vice. (Not to say he didn't appreciate Griffith trying but he was more than likely to fail.)

"Ah picking up dinner for Vivio?" Yuuno smiled sympathetically.

"Yeah. You?"

"Arf was getting hungry and I thought I'd pick up some food."

"And I thought he was the boss," Vice nudged Griffith's side.

Griffith glared at him.

Yuuno and Zafira both chose to ignore them.

"Uncle Yuuno," Vivio whined and wiggled on Zafira's back trying to get Zafira to let her see Yuuno.

Luckily for Vivio Yuuno went to her. "Look how big you are."

She giggled. "Vivio grew."

"And in just half a week too."

Zafira wondered what exactly it was about Vivio that made grown men turn into something resembling cooing teenage girls. It didn't matter how big the man or how manly he thought himself to be, he would undoubtedly fall under her spell.

Yuuno straightened up and moved around to face Zafira once again. "Well I should get going."

Zafira internally panicked. Go?! Yuuno couldn't go! If he left then Zafira would be alone again and still have no idea what to do. "W-wait!"

Yuuno tilted his head to the side, "Do you need something Zafira?"

Zafira started to sweat. He had yelled out spontaneously, not thinking of what he was actually planning to say. "U-um… well… I'm sure what kind of food Vivio likes so…"

"Ah," Yuuno smiled kindly, "then please let me help you." Yuuno faced one of the shelves, staring at it with far too much intensity.

Zafira moved up behind the librarian "Yuuno? What are you do—"

Yuuno held up a hand. "Shh. I'm thinking." Yuuno reached out and picked up two boxes of pasta. One was green and the other was blue. "Testarossa brand or Barilla?" He spoke as if the fate of the world depended on what he chose.

"Barilla!" Vice answered randomly.

Yuuno nodded and threw the box labeled Testarossa into Zafira's cart. "Now you'll also want bread and a few vegetables." Yuuno took the cart from a bewildered Zafira and started to stroll down the aisle, grabbing this and that.

"Isn't that…" Zafira followed Yuuno. "A bit too much?"

Yuuno looked over his shoulder, "have you seen their refrigerator?"

In fact Zafira had seen the fungus farm that was the captains' fridge. "Please continue."

* * *

Yuuno was extremely skilled when it came to grocery shopping. (It probably came out from the endless bachelordom he seemed trapped in.) Yuuno had not only found the freshest heads of broccoli, the cleanest spinach leaves and the nicest can of peas Zafira had ever seen but Yuuno also managed to get Nanoha and Fate at least a week's worth of healthy meals, all at the cheapest prices possible.

Vice and Griffith had been in such awe that they hadn't argued the entire experience. Griffith even took notes.

When Yuuno had finally finished weighing the heads of lettuce with his hands he immediately headed to the checkout line, right past his companions and their wide open mouths. As he started to checkout he proceeded to pull out a good dozen coupons and a membership card.

The clerk gulped almost fearfully, obviously a tad afraid of Yuuno's shopping prowess. "S-sir if you buy another box of oatmeal you can get the milk half off."

Yuuno's eyes lit up at the prospect of a sale, his glasses took on what could only be called an evil glint. "Vice!"

Vice stiffened up with a seriousness Zafira only recalled him treating his way high up superiors with. "Yes!"

"Go grab some oatmeal!"

Zafira wondered what exactly Yuuno thought he, or Nanoha for that matter, was going to do with the extra oatmeal, oatmeal that did in fact cost more then what fifty percent of the milk did.

"I'll see you later then," Yuuno shuffled his grocery sacks to one hand and waved. In the end he had ended up taking half of the groceries with him, he deserved them after he offered to pay for all of the food.

Zafira turned around so Vivio could wave too.

"Bye by!"

"So," Vice's hands were the only ones not filled with groceries, even Vivio was holding a tiny bag. "How are we getting these back to the base?"

Griffith and Zafira gave Vice a dumb look. "We're not taking the motorcycle?"

"It barely fits us, it won't fit groceries too." Vice didn't seem to see how this was a problem.

Griffith and Zafira looked at each other then, simultaneously, yelled out, "YUUNO!"

* * *

A/N:  
Please continue on to part three


	4. Ana catches a cold part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN

**Magical Babysitter Lyrical Zafira**

**Chapter 3 part 2**

**In Which the Story is Continued from the Previous Part**

"Well, if you guys don't mind waiting here at the library then I'll take you home after we close up."

It was a stroke of luck that Yuuno hadn't already left. It was also lucky that he drove a giant car and didn't mind lugging them all around. Zafira found himself praising what ever kind of spirit was watching over him. His "friends" may have been useless but Yuuno was reliable as ever.

"It's big!" Vivio, who had been released from the backpack, held out her arms like she was trying to hug the massive infinite library.

Yuuno smiled happily as he gripped the door's handle, "yes it is."

"Yuuno," Zafira and Griffith struggled to hold up all of dozen grocery sacks. "Hurry."

Yuuno blinked, then realized his friends' predicament and hurriedly opened the door. "Sorry about that."

Vice laughed, "Don't worry they need to build up some muscle!" He then slapped Griffith's back earning himself a glare.

Vivio skipped into the library, Vice close behind her. Zafira, the now useless backpack hanging loosely on his shoulders, and Griffith shuffled in after them with Yuuno pulling up the rear. Upon entering Zafira and Griffith immediately threw the groceries into a corner (well actually Zafira threw them; Griffith had to be goaded into the throwing).

"Woah this is so cool!" Vivio spun around in circles around the main hall. "Lookit Zaffy!" She pointed at the four-story tall bookshelves.

Zafira scratched the side of his head. He'd forgotten what it was like seeing someone so excited, though truth be told Vivio seemed to be that excited on a constant basis, everything in the world entertained her. "Yes I see."

Yuuno looked around his library proudly. "No one knows how many books we actually have, many have tried to count—" he shot a playful glance at Zafira who looked away—"but none have actually succeeded."

Vivio eyes widened, "Woah."

Yuuno snapped his fingers (despite how it sometimes seemed he was quite the skilled mage. He just didn't seem that good when compared with Nanoha, Fate and Hayate). The shelves shuffled around, some parting to the side and allowing another bookshelf to come forward. From that bookshelf a single book flew out and in to Yuuno's waiting hand. He flipped it over elegantly, proving the librarians could be cool too. "Now I believe 'Cinderella' is a favorite of yours?" Yuuno showed the book to Vivio.

Vivio's little mouth hung open in shock and surprise, "how did you know?" She eyed him with a hint of suspicion.

Zafira rubbed his forehead. Vivio only announced her favorite story to every person she met. Ana read her the story everyday, often two or three times. Vivio could recite it by heart but that didn't stop her from asking for it to be read to her.

"All you have to do is listen," Yuuno crouched down and spoke like he was sharing the world's biggest secret. He had Vivio eating out of the palm of his hand. "Do you want me to read it to you?"

"Yeah yeah!" She took his hand and dragged him off to a table.

"So what do we do?" Vice complained. "We're stuck in a library."

Griffith started to answer but he was interrupted.

"Ne Yuuno did you get any meat?" Arf's head popped out of a pile of books. Her hair was ruffled and her clothing crooked. She looked around for her boss but her eyes fell on a certain wolf instead. A light pink hit her cheeks. "What are you guys doing here?!" She pointed accusingly at Zafira.

"Visiting," Zafira answered trying to keep his amusement off of his face.

Arf squirmed out of the books, popping out of her kid form into her adult one as she did. "You've never visited before."

"We needed a ride." Zafira looked up at the books floating around the ceiling, Arf's outfit was not the kind of distraction he needed.

All Griffith and Vice could do was watch the exchange.

"Just you three?"

Zafira shook his head, "Vivio too."

"Vivio?" Arf smirked teasingly. "Who's that your girlfriend?"

"Well considering she's five…"

Arf pretended to look scandalized, "then… your daughter."

"Fate didn't tell you?" Zafira looked down, raising an eyebrow.

Arf looked sad. "Fate doesn't tell me anything anymore." It was true that Arf had been out of the loop for a while.

"Vivio's Nanoha's kid. Fate's taking care of her too," Zafira raised an eyebrow.

"So why do you have her?" Arf looked like she was about to accuse Zafira of kidnapping.

"I'm her… well… guardian."

"You mean babysitter don't you?" Arf grinned and giggled.

Zafira glared. "No. That's not what a meant." Yes it was.

* * *

The afternoon went by quickly. Yuuno made them lunch, meat filled sandwiches to Arf's delight. Vivio found herself fascinated by Arf who she called, "Girl Zaffy". And with Arf to entertain her Zafira was allowed to spend the afternoon doing some minor research. Well actually he tried to. Unfortunately Vice decided to distract him instead, eventually Zafira sent Vice off to bug Griffith.

Time passed quickly when Zafira was busy reading. Soon it was time for Yuuno to close up and head home, which meant it was time for him to return to Nanoha's apartment and try to fix Vivio food.

"If you ever need a favor," Zafira paused at the door to Nanoha's apartment, "just ask Yuuno."

"Bye Uncle!" Vivio waved from over Zafira's shoulder.

Yuuno shook his head and waved. "Sure. Bye Vivio"

Zafira and his bag boys entered the rather spacious apartment. Vice had "volunteered" (read: forced) to carry the bags in. Griffith had offered to help him, Griffith was too nice.

"Remember to stock the fridge," Zafira gave an uncharacteristic grin before disappearing with Vivio upstairs to find her some entertainment.

Vice groaned.

* * *

"I want to make the sauce!" Vice drew one of Nanoha's kitchen knives and started waving it around dangerously. He picked up a tomato in one hand and looked like he was going to try and stab it.

"We're using sauce from a jar Vice," Griffith took the knife from the pilot's hands.

"That sucks."

"Vivio," Zafira reminded them, motioning with his head towards the little girl sitting at the table coloring.

Griffith offered Vice a can of peas, "here try this."

Vice nodded solemnly and started to stab it with another knife.

Meanwhile Zafira placed the giant metal pot on the stove. He wasn't quite sure how it worked but if he placed water in it and turned on the stove it would start to boil surely. He did just that and added the pasta but nothing happened. This was of course because boiling isn't an instantaneous process but Zafira didn't care much for details like that. A tiny touch of magic aimed at the pot got it nice and hot nice and fast.

Griffith pushed up his glasses, "Now if I finish up the vegetables we'll be ready to eat soon."

"I'll check on the pasta then!" Vice bounded towards the pot, hands ready to grab it.

"Don't Vice that's boiling water!"

"YOWWWWWWWWWW!"

* * *

"It hurts," Vice sat at the dining table with his left, now burned, hand submerged in icy water.

Griffith scowled, "If you hadn't grabbed a boiling pot you'd be fine."

"You're so mean Griffith."

"Thanks for the food!" Vivio cheered before diving into the pasta and spraying red sauce everywhere. Zafira started to cry on the inside as he realized he'd have to clean up everything.

A good ten minutes into their meal Zafira noticed that something on Vivio's plate wasn't quite right. He set out to remedy this problem.

"Vivio eat your vegetables," Zafira eyed the little pile of greens in the corner of her plate.

"But-but Zaffy doesn't," Vivio pointed to the equally sized pile of the offending veggies.

"Yeah Zaffy she has a point," Vice grinned and forked some of the meat into his mouth.

"Indeed," Griffith pushed up his glasses with a glint, "you can't expect her to eat them when you won't."

Zafira looked down, "Well I…" Sigh. He had no choice, if he wanted Vivio to eat the peas, spinach and broccoli he would have to too. His head shot up, blazing determination in his eyes. He took his fork in one hand, a giant glass of milk in the other and attacked the pile. He scooped some of the greens onto the fork and jammed it into his mouth. They were just as disgusting as he remembered, slimy, squishy disgusting tasting, the half gallon of milk he downed with it didn't hide the taste very well. He felt his well trained gag reflex almost give in.

"Hey Zaffy if you keep looking like that she won't want to eat them," Vice poked Zafira in the forehead.

Zafira glared at the happy-go-lucky man before turning his face into a smile that could only be called disturbing, "mmm mmm mmm," he swallowed, "Y-yummy. I'm really glad I ate those. But I'm sooo full now." Vice looked on in horror.

"All of them," Vivio puffed out her cheeks. "You have to eat all of them or you'll never get bigger!"

'Never get bigger'? Zafira didn't want to get bigger. "Well Vivio it's not good to—"

"She told you to eat all of them Zafira," Griffith looked like he was trying to hide his amusement, as if Zafira's pain was fun to watch.

"Yeah wouldn't want to disappoint her," Vice on the other hand wasn't hiding his glee at all.

Zafira shot the two of them I'll-kill-you-later looks before forcing another forkful into his mouth. He tried to swallow it whole. It was slightly better that way, though swallowing it whole added in the bonus of pain. In two more nauseating bites he managed to finish them off. "There…" he shuddered, "all done. Yum I feel so healthy now."

"There you go now Vivio eat your greens. Zafira likes them and he hates everything," Vice winked at the six-year-old.

"No," the three men looked down at the little girl in shock.

"Why not?" Griffith scratched his chin, "Don't you want to get big?"

"Uncle Vice and Uncle Griffith didn't eat theirs," she pouted.

Zafira slowly turned his head from Vivio to face the two hypocrites, "What's this? Oh well I'm sure they'll be happy to right this wrong, after all they all want to get big and strong."

"Eh heh heh," Vice rubbed the side of his head, "Well I'm pretty big already and I don't want to be a giant like Zafira so you know…"

"Give up Vice," Griffith picked up his fork. "You can't win."

"But but but," he poked his own pile with his fork, "they're you know… those things."

"Eat!" Vivio ordered.

At the same time Vice and Griffith took their forks scooped up the green menace and plopped it in their mouths. They also turned the same sickly shade of green in sequence and they both ran to the bathroom as if synchronized.

"Now will you eat them Vivio?"

Vivio nodded and with a determined look on her face, she took her fork, put a comparatively small amount of the accursed food on it and ate them Zafira watched in anticipation for her reaction, silently praying that it wouldn't be like Vice and Griffith's. To his surprise she smiled, "Yummy!" She ate some more. "Really good."

Zafira rubbed his stomach. He wasn't sure if he should be proud or embarrassed that a little girl was tougher then all three of them.

* * *

"Alright Vivio brush your teeth and then we'll put you in bed!" Vice put his good hand on his hip, kept the other wrapped in an ice pack, and started to direct their little motley crew. He was much more responsive now that he had gotten the vegetables out of his system. "Zafira you go and make the bed! Griffith… you do go do… something."

"I'll warm up some milk," Griffith shook his head and walked back to the kitchen.

"And what exactly will you do?" Zafira muttered as he examined the giant bed, how exactly did Fate and Nanoha sleep on it and not get lost.

"I'm the commander of this operation so I don't need to do anything but instruct," He laughed.

Zafira growled but got to work as soon as he heard Vivio turn on the sink. Zafira took the giant bed's comforter in his hands, he seemed to owe a lot to thumbs today, though since he had never gotten around to finishing it off it wasn't that hard. He proceeded to pull down the covers and straightened the pillows with the same care a sculptor gives his statue, the little girl was going to be comfortable no matter what.

After a last proud glance aimed at his handiwork he trotted to the bathroom where Vivio was brushing her teeth while Vice looked intensely at his watch. Zafira raised an eyebrow, well this was unusual, "Vice-san what are you doing?" Zafira picked up a towel from the counter.

Vice held up a hand, indicating for him to wait. "Five, four, three, two, one, okay Vivio you can stop now!"

Vivio spat out her toothpaste and took the towel Zafira was now offering. She hopped off her stool, it was necessary due to her lack of height, and tugged on Zafira's shirt. "Bedtime now."

Zafira knelt down and lifted Vivio up, "that it is." He carried her out of the bathroom, Vice right behind him.

"So what exactly does bedtime consist of?" Vice tilted his head to the side.

"I don't know," Zafira had no idea what happened when Vivio went to bed, before tonight his job had always ended before it got to that point. "Vivio?"

Vivio looked thoughtful, "When Nanoha-mama and Fate-mama are home it's like this: Fate-Mama tucks me in then Nanoha-mama tells me a story." Her petite face scrunched up in concentration, "Oh and then they kiss my forehead and we all say goodnight!"

"Got it, tuck in, story, kiss goodnight," somewhere between the bathroom and the bedroom Griffith had joined him. Hayate's assistant had a pair of oven mitts on his hands to protect him from the steaming cup of milk.

"Could you have made it hotter?" Vice eyed the cup suspiciously, "really we're trying to lull her to sleep not burn off her tongue."

"Do you want to taste test it Vice-san?"

"Not particularly Griffy."

"Griffith."

"Ahem!" Zafira cleared his throat causing the other two to look up. "We have a child to attend to."

They both looked embarrassed much to Zafira's pleasure; it seemed the shoe was on the other foot now wasn't it. Vivio giggled at the sight, which only caused both of them more shame.

Zafira walked towards the bed, his tail wagging slowly (he didn't notice of course), and gently laid Vivio in the center of the bed, a bed that was at least ten times her size. It looked like the bed would swallow her up if she was left there.

"Why is their bed so big?" Griffith examined the monstrosity. "…Never mind Shari's the one who decorated the room isn't it?"

"You can tell that by looking at the room." Vice smirked, "Someone has a crush."

Griffith chose to ignore the pilot and focused on cooling the beverage in his oven mitted hands.

Zafira prepared to cover up the girl, grasping the edge of the comforter in both hands he started to move it forward.

"Wait!" Zafira was stopped by Vivio's cry. All three officers turned to her, trying to figure out what exactly had gone wrong. Vivio pointed at her pink bunny off in the corner, "Mr. Flobbles wants to come too."

Zafira nodded Vivio's wish was his command, if she wanted her stuffed animal he would get it for her… it was like she was his superior officer, Zafira was being ordered around by a five year old. He took the rabbit from the pile of stuffed animals as gently as if it was made of priceless gems and placed it next to Vivio, then he went back to pulling up the covers.

"Not yet!" Zafira stopped again, apparently she wanted something else too, what time was she supposed to go to bed again? "Bearington too."

"The bear's named is Bearington?" Vice raised an eyebrow, "that's _so _original."

Zafira shot him a look, "Just go get it."

Vice shrugged and headed to the pile, "Whatever." He picked up the bowtie clad bear and tossed it to Zafira who laid it beside Vivio.

"FC too."

"Who's FC?" Vice searched the pile.

"It's the ferret," Griffith said between blowing on the mug. He looked startled when the other two both looked at him in astonishment. "W-what!" His ears turned red from the attention and he looked down into the drink, "It's obvious isn't it?" His voice got a little softer, "I mean it was a gift from Admiral Chrono."

"How do you remember all that?" Vice tossed the ferret to Zafira. "I mean I forget where I'm going if I'm in the sky too long." He laughed, "Storm raider has to remind me."

"Why exactly did Hayate hire you?"

Zafira sighed, between their comedy routine and the long bedtime routine she'd go to bed around midnight. "Ella!" And she wasn't done yet.

Between the four of them they developed a routine. Vivio would call out a name, Griffith would figure out who she was referring to (Zafira couldn't imagine how he figured out Harvey was a giant rabbit), Vice would manhandle it and toss it to Zafira who would put it next to Vivio. Over a ten minute period they moved at least 40 stuffed animals. By the time they were finished only Vivio's little head popped through the pile.

"Can we continue now?" Zafira looked down at Vivio who nodded. "Griffith?"

"Right. Story's next."

"Story?" Zafira didn't know many of those. He looked to Vice and Griffith for help. They shook their heads.

"Cindery!" Vivio cheered.

"But she's had it read to her like seven times today," Vice complained.

Griffith shrugged. "Vivio gets what Vivio wants."

Zafira grunted and shuffled in his chair. "I guess… I'll tell story then…" He cleared his throat. To be honest he only had a basic idea of the story. . Who had two evil stepmothers-."

"Named Fate and Nanoha!" Vice took over. "Now they loved each other very very much—"

"But they mistreated their poor little stepchild CinderVita," Griffith stopped Vice.

CinderVita?! Zafira's mouth fell open.

"They made CinderVita do all the work—"

Vice cut the green haired man off, "While they went off in the back and ha—"

"Look Vice I'm trying to tell a story here so if you'd just sit down and be quiet!"

Vivio giggled, "That's not how the story goes." She smiled and wiggled around.

Vice pouted, "Then you tell it."

Vivio took a deep breath and began, "Well Cinderella had two stepsisters and one stepmother who made her do all the work 'cause they were really really really mean and then there was a ball." Breathe. "But they wouldn't let Cinderella go 'cause they were meanies but then there was thingy with the fairy and she made Cinderella a dress and let her go to the ball where she met the prince!" Vivio was very excited and took another breathe. "And he was really cool but Cinderella had to go 'cause it was 12 and the fairy said so so she ran home but she lost her shoe but the prince found it and he went to all the houses to find the one person who fit the shoe and it was Cinderella's and then they lived happily ever."

The three men blinked. They had barely caught any of her story but what truly amazed them was that somehow Vivio managed to say her entire story in about three breaths.

"You just got schooled Griffy," Vice poked his friend's side.

"So did you."

Vivio yawned. "Sleepy time."

Griffith stood up and pulled Vice with him. "Well we should go."

"Thank you," Zafira was looking down, embarrassed by what he was saying. "Vivio had fun."

Vice grinned. "'Course she did! Right Vivio?"

"Right!"

Vice and Griffith left, the downstairs door squeaking as they left.

"Right then." Zafira stood up. "I'll just turn off the light and—"

"Wait!" Vivio cried out more urgently then before.

Zafira looked down at the little girl. What was it this time? More animals? A glass of water?

"Goodnight kiss!"

Zafira was confused. What did she mean? He wasn't her mother; it wasn't his job to do such things.

"Every night," she looked incredibly serious. "We do it every night."

Zafira faltered, she was just a kid it couldn't hurt. He bent down.

Vivio sunk into her sheets making sure her forehead was in ideal kissing position.

With a speed uncommon to someone of his size, Zafira pecked Vivio's forehead.

And to his utter shock she reached up and kissed his cheek in return. Zafira's eyes widened and he turned bright red. Zafira fumbled towards the doorway and the light switch, regaining his composure on his way there.

He touched the light switch but didn't turn it off yet. "Goodnight Vivio." He flicked off the light.

Out of the darkness came a single, small voice. A voice that somehow managed to bring a small, unnoticeable even to him, smile to her mouth.

"Goodnight Zaffy."

* * *

A/N: And with that Chapter 3 was finished. Please review if you have the time.


	5. Zafira takes a field trip

A/N: I was going to do a holiday special (as I still will but for next christmas XD) but I decided after a week had passed Christmas that perhaps it would be better to give to my fans (all two of you out there who I greatly appreciate) what they actually want. That want being the Chapter 4 that is six months over due. I'll give no estimate of when chapter five will be out for if I do so likely we won' t see it til 2010. For now please enjoy.

* * *

**Magical Babysitter Lyrical Zafira  
Chapter 4  
In Which Zafira is Manipulated into Taking a Field Trip  
**

If asked Zafira would be hard pressed to list his interests. If he was forced into answering he'd probably say taking naps. If he was feeling fancy he'd say taking naps in exotic locations, exotic locations being the occasional nap taken in Hayate's office. If the person insisted that naps couldn't be the only thing Zafira enjoyed he'd simply reply that a guardian beast had no business doing much of anything that did not pertain to his master. Zafira truly did enjoy napping even if the other Wolkenritter couldn't understand why he always did it. Zafira, however, hadn't napped in weeks.

The reason was not, as many would expect, Zafira's young charge. Vivio was, on the whole, a very well behaved child. She did what she was told with very little fuss, a hold over, Zafira suspected, from her time with Scaglietti. No, rather than Vivio, it was the "ace" pilot who was causing no end to Zafira's misery. The former sniper and his eternal sugar high while no end of amusement for Vivio was also no end of poor influences for her. Any moment of peace Zafira might have had was spent ensuring Vivio wouldn't grow up thinking it was okay to completely ignore any and all responsibilities. It was the fault of that man, the man as sinful as his name suggested, that Zafira was being forced to face his biggest fear.

Though perhaps the blame didn't fall entirely on Vice. Perhaps the blame also fell on one Griffith Lowran. If the second in command of long arch hadn't been such a push over Zafira could have merely spent the day watching Vivio draw pictures that only she understood, as he was again left to do Ana's job as the maid/nanny was on her day off. But no, Griffith, despite having the coolest head Zafira had ever bared witness to, had okayed the event. Zafira didn't know who to fault more, the one who had come up with the idea or the one who had allowed it to happen.

Nevertheless, Zafira cursed both men equally as he and a bouncing Vivio were strapped in for the ride of terror. As the engine roared his very very long life flashed before his eyes, the day's previous events coming into focus above all else.

~~  
**1 hour earlier**

"Rejected," Zafira didn't even look up from the slab of meatloaf the cafeteria mages called food. To be perfectly honest if the head cook mage didn't have muscles to rival his own and a fiery rage that might accidentally pummel the cafeteria he'd have complained long ago about the quality of the food when Hayate and the captains were away.

"You haven't even heard it yet," Vice whined like a little kid and even took the time to stop stirring his mashed potatoes in a circle to pout in Zafira's direction. The pout came out warped as he was a grown man and not a small child.

"We don't need to hear it to know it's a bad idea," Griffith stared at Vice over the rims of his glasses, "The mere idea of you suggesting anything is bad within itself." Griffith removed his fork daintily from his meatloaf and pointed it at Vice, "Especially since all your ideas involve alcohol."

"Cut it please Zaffy," Vivio tugged on Zafira's shirt and pointed to her hunk of meatloaf. Zafira wordlessly and dedicatedly began to cut the meatlike substance.

"It doesn't involve any booze this time," Vice raised his arm as if swearing in the Belkan Church, "On my honor."

Griffith pushed up his glasses so the light glinted off of them and spoke in a matter of fact fashion, "Your honor is only worth slightly more than what's in your wallet." Vice forgot that in order to swear on one's honor one needed to have honor in the first place.

Vice pretended to file his nails and look disinterested though he couldn't keep a playful gleam out of his eyes, "At least my wallet's worth more than your apartment, though I guess it doesn't matter seeing as no woman will ever step foot in it."

The cool headed Griffith was no more, bright red embarrassed Griffith had taken his place. It was unfortunate for the lilac haired man that Vice knew his every weak point. "Just because I don't have a girlfriend doesn't mean I couldn't if I didn't want to! I'm a very busy man I just have too much to do!"

"Zaffy more please!" Vivio held her tray out to her guardian, obviously proud of herself for remembering to say please. Zafira complied and went off to fetch more as Griffith and Vice continued, loudly enough for him to hear even from far away.

"Oh yeah," Vice leaned back in his chair with a grin stolen from the Cheshire Cat plastered on his face, "It's definitely how busy you are that's keeping you from asking Shar-"

Potatoes were flung into Vice's face from Griffith's fork, "That's enough of that." Level headed Griffith returned to power once more.

Vice wiped the potatoes away without even a thought, "So anyway-" Zafira returned with more food for Vivio, "-I think it'd be awesome if we took a field tri-"

"-Rejected." Never let it be said that Zafira was indecisive.

Vice flailed, doing his best impression of a dying fish, "Come on! You didn't even hear me out!" Vice seemed to forget that they never heard him out when they didn't have to.

"There's no need to hear out such a thing," Griffith glared over his glasses, "You're not taking Vivio to a bar and that's that."

"Zaffy-" Zafira's shirt was tugged on again, "-What's a bar?"

"..." Zafira paused searching for the right words, using alcohol would inevitably lead to the explanation of the substance which wasn't something he cared to do. "It's a place."

"I don't want to take her to a bar!" Vice slammed his hand on the table growling at Griffith.

Vivio took this in, nodding to herself as she tried to figure out the mysterious "bar" from Zafira's three words. "What kinda place?"

Zafira gave her three more words to ponder, "An adult place."

"I want to take her flying!"

"..."

"..."

"...?" Vivio tried to imitate Zafira and Griffith's blank stares but had to add in a confused glance as she truly had no idea what was going on and was still on the subject of the bar..

"... In your helicopter?" Zafira blinked, still unsure how to react to Vice's latest exclamation.

"Of course!" Vice stood up in a dramatic pose, one leg on his chair, his arm gallantly punching the air. "There's no better way to nurture a love of aerial exploration than to take her up into the sk-"

"Rejected," Zafira returned to his meal.

"Don't reject me before you hear me out!"

Griffith sighed, "But Vice you're the one who's admitted to being incapable of even remembering where you're going when you're in a plane..."

Vice rolled his eyes though he didn't bother to deny Griffith's claim, "That's not the point. The point is Zafira need something to do with Vivio other than coloring and I'm providing a viable activity."

"I need to entertain her, not put her in harm's way-" Zafira sipped his tea before setting it down with a stern look cast in Vice's direction "-and putting her anywhere near you and a helicopter can't be a good idea."

"I'll have you know I was voted safest pilot of the year once!" Vice stated this likely false fact proudly.

"Who voted you that?" Griffith eyed Vice like a skeptic eyes a ghost, looking for any sign of falsehood.

"A committee!"

"A committee of who?"

"A committee of myself!"

"THAT DOESN'T COUNT!" Griffith smacked his hands on the table and stood up, drawing the eyes of every person in the room much to his embarrassment. He quietly sat back down and fiddled with his fork.

Vice smirked, though smirks should not be attempted by those with little evil in them as it came out humorous looking, "Oh? It doesn't? Well then you've left me no choice," he sighed dramatically and leaned back in his chair. "Oi~ Shari~" He waved over at the table where three of the women of long arch, Lucino, Alto and Shari, were eating their lunches.

The bespectacled mechanic looked over at the men's table. It appeared only they had had no reaction to Griffith's earlier outburst. "Yes Vice?"

"Griffith loves you-"

"VICE!"

"-r hair. Care to tell him who your hairdresser is?" Vice grinned and Griffith fell over.

Shari and her subordinates found it funny at least as they were giggling. "I'm afraid that's a secret Griffith~" She winked at the men before turning back to her food.

The brown haired devil folded his arms and grinned, "So do I have approval Griffypoo~"

"This has to be illegal," Griffith growled as he set his head on the table dejectedly.

"...I still haven't said I'd let you," Zafira hadn't. Even if Vice had badgered Griffith into giving him permission Zafira sure hadn't.

"Vivio~" Vice waved a lollipop in front of the six year old, "Wanna go up in the sky?"

The little girl followed the sweet up and down until Vice finally stopped it in front of her face. She quickly grabbed up the sweet and unwrapped it, sticking it in her mouth. She didn't understand the question Vice had asked her but she understood he was the candy man now. So of course she nodded.

Vice's grin turned devilish as his head turned to Zafira, "You saw her Zaffy~ "

"Manipulative demon."

"Love you too buddy."

__________________

**Present time**

"Zafira," Griffith yelled from across the helicopter, above the roar of the engine, "Are you and Vivio buckled in properly?"

Zafira couldn't open his mouth for fear a most unbecoming and girly scream would leave his lips if he dared. Zafira had never told anyone of his fear. It was foolish and childish really. After all, who'd ever heard of a flying wolf who was afraid to fly (then again who had ever heard of a flying wolf). It wasn't the act of flying that had him afraid as much as was the act of putting complete faith in another person. To put it simply Zafira had trust issues, though merely calling them that was like calling Nanoha's hero complex mere helpful tendencies.

Zafira had never truly trusted anyone, not even the other Wolkenritter who, while Zafira had something akin to trust in, had never had his complete trust. This was an arrangement he was fine with. If nothing else he was confident in his ability to protect himself and that had always been enough. The exception being... planes, well truly any aircraft. Putting himself in what was essentially a metal cage and then trusting the pilot wouldn't send him careening down to the ground was beyond his willing capabilities.

"Wee!"

Zafira wondered what it was like to have nary a care in the world as Vivio did. He was quite sure now that the girl didn't know how to be afraid nor how to be distrustful. Was this blind faith wise? Zafira could not answer. He couldn't decide who was better off, the trustful child or the faithless adult.

Just as he had begun to calm himself down with the joy Vivio had found, the helicopter leaped into action. There was no warning, the engines roar didn't increase or decrease in the slightest. No rather the entire machine merely lurched up, yes lurched. Zafira had always thought that the flying machine was supposed to do nothing more than gently rise up not shoot like some sort of rocket.

"This is your captain speaking," Vice's voice came over the intercom, "please hold tight to your seats 'cause I can't grantee anythin'."

"VICE!" Griffith shouted towards the cockpit fortunately loud enough to drown out Zafira's whimper. "What are you doing?"

"We're flying!" Vivio bounced up and down in her seat, staring righting out the window stationed across from her. "We're flying we're flying we're flying we're FLYING!" Pure joy radiated from her, pity it wasn't contagious.

An mantra emerged from Zafira's lips, well not as much a mantra as a long howl of fear and misery. Vice apparently took it as pleasure and decided at that point he would zoom about happily and preform a move Zafira could only describe as the loop de loop of horror! Were helicopters suppose to be able to do such things? Surely there were some laws of physics being broken here!

They zoomed along the countryside though Zafira didn't care to look out the window Vivio was intent on naming everything they flew past. "Grass! Tree! Cow!" Zafira sincerely hoped Vivio merely had good eyesight and that they were not in fact that close to the ground. But they probably were and they were likely going to crash and burst into flames and that was going to be the end of his 400+ year lifetime, a helicopter crash of no great importance, such thoughts spun through Zafira's head as his companions enjoyed themselves.

Vivio listed tree for the fifteenth time when the helicopter began to tilt to the side. Zafira did not like this at all, Zafira liked to remain upright at all times, that was the way he was meant to go after all. All the turning was beginning to make him feel sick and Zafira began to suspect he was going to see his meatloaf again.

This showed on his face apparently as Griffith acquired an alarming look on his. "Vice! Land the helicopter Zafira's going to be sick!"

Vice must have heard the alarm in Griffith's voice or perhaps he just didn't want barf in his baby, either way he brought the machine to a halt and opened the door just in time for Zafira to run out, retreating into his wolf form as he did and promptly lose the entirety of his lunch.

"Aww poor Zaff Zaff." Smack. Smack. Smack. Vice whacked Zafira's back in what he surely thought was a comforting manner. "Don't worry the way back should be easier."

"I'm walking." Zafira was not going back into that _thing. _Not as long as Vice was at the controls.

"But we're at least a good thirty miles from the base," Griffith tried to talk sense into Zafira but Zafira would have known of it.

"C'mon Zaff," Vice ruffled Zafira's mane, "I'll go double speed for the way home so we'll get there in half the time."

"D-double speed," without his permission thoughts began to pass through his head and a terror wretched through his body. Double... speed.

"Yeah!" Vice took Zafira's repetition as the go ahead to talk more on the subject, "I'll just pump up the speed no biggie."

"Pump up... the speed." Zafira felt faint, the whole world was getting blurry, the mere thought of going faster was making him rather dizzy. Zafira wasn't sure he could support his own weight much longer.

Vivio clapped her hands together excitedly. "Zaffy's so happy he went to bed!" Indeed the might wolf had gone into a dead faint.

Griffith fell to his knees and shook Zafira about. "Eh?!?! Zafira! Zafira!"

"Heh," Vice chuckled and shrugged. It wasn't that he didn't it was that he didn't think it was a big deal, "he'll be fine after he gets a little rest."

"This is all your fault Vice!"

"Yeah yeah just help me load him into the back," Vice was already dragging Zafira over.

"Let's just hope you haven't frightened Vivio out of air travel," Griffith grumbled as he took up Zafira's other half.

"I want to go even higher!" Vivio reached towards the sky.

"Thatta girl!"

"You've created a monster."

And as Zafira was roughly bound in the back so he wouldn't slide all over the place he remained right between the being of awake and of sleep. And one final thought passed through his head before he went off to the more peaceful land of slumber. The thought being that he was about to have a nap in a very exotic local indeed.

* * *

A/N: I have no doubt that Vice's helicopter did in fact break several laws of physics as to what a helicopter can do but please remember what you see is what Zafira _thinks_ is happening not what is actually happening XD. The silly wolf exaggerates.

While I can't promise a release date I can promise a title as I've been sitting on Chapter 5's title since chapter one.

**Chapter 5**

**In Which Griffith Loses his Mojo**

**Coming Eventually  
**


End file.
